"What's the use of a good quotation if you can't change it?" - Doctor Who

Am I ambivalent? Well .. yes and no.

ARMY - Be all that you're told to be!

I took a test that said I was cynical! Why should I believe that?

If at first you DO succeed, smile and pretend that you knew what you were doing!

I left the womb for this?

Always remember that you're unique ... just like everyone else.

Why is the third hand on a watch called the second hand?

Geometry is as easy as pi.

Despite the high cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

Never buy an alligator from a one-armed man.

Old age is inevitable. Growing up is optional.

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace prize!

Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.

Edukation issnt wat it used to bee.

Be different! Conform!

XXXXX censorship!

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it's two tired.

Clapper? Clapper? Yes, that name does ring a bell!

Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Remember, clones are people two!

I'm modest ... and proud of it!

Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

There are ten kinds of people in the world ... those who understand binary, and those who don't.

I'm not getting paid much for staying alive, but it's good experience!

Dogs have owners.  Cats have staff.

Do prisoners use cell phones to call each other?

When Republicans go to college, can they major in Liberal Arts?

I try to daydream, but my mind keeps wandering.

I misplaced my dictionary. Now I'm at a loss for words.

I plan on living forever ... or die trying!

Without geometry, life would be pointless.

If ignorance is bliss, then why aren't more people happy?

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it!